I can’t drown them out.
There is a pain in my gut,
a twisted, gnarled, spiteful thing.
There is a buzzing in my head,
television static, overwhelming.
There is a pressure in my chest,
Someone sitting on it – pushing the air from my lungs.
There is a shaking in my muscles,
There is a voice in my ears,
sharp as a butcher’s knife.
These things drill into me.
Acid at the back of my throat.
Can’t drown them out.
My struggle with Misophonia has been long and hard. In the middle of a particularly bad bout I feel like I am going insane. That my mind had twisted and bent to the point of breaking.
No matter what I do, no matter where I run to, there is sound. There is always sound, and there will always be sound.
Can’t control the noise around me. I’m perfectly aware of that. Doesn’t make it any easier.
Maybe, if I found a way to just drown them out it would be easier.
Until then I’ll just keep trying. Keep pushing myself to move forward.