It’s quiet here

The water bubbling up to greet me in my descent

So quiet

I can hear my heart thrumming steadily in my ears

Quiet

Each beat further from the last.

When they find me in the current

Take me away from the shadows I’ve cloaked myself in

Bury me in something new

Bury me in blue

Author’s Note:

I’ve been watching the youtube chanel “Adventures with Purpose”** recently. I started it to try and get over my phobia of drowning in a car. It’s an odd phobia. Really makes itself known when I’m driving over a bridge.

This chanel it run by a group of volunteers that search rivers for abandoned vehicles, and even assist in locating people that could still be in those vehicles.

Watching them interact with the families broke my heart. My heart breaks for them, and for the person they lost.

I think of my own daughter. How I would feel if I ever lost her? Especially, what if I lost her to herself?

I’ve had those thoughts. I’m sure we all have. We struggle with the darkness in our minds daily.

I wouldn’t survive loosing her. I couldn’t.

Please know, there is help. If you are struggling please call 800-273-8255. This is the number for the national suicide prevention hotline. Our, you can even start a chat with them on line, if you’re more comfortable with that.

There are people in the world wouldn’t survive loosing you.

TW for the below: if you are not in a mindset for heavier material please do not continue. Your mental health is important

**Adventures with Purpose founder Jared Leisek was charged with unforgivable offences in 2022. Until the ADW team has made steps to clear him from their legacy I cannot recommend the channel.

My heart goes out to the victim, and to the many that these horrendous offences have affected.