Thank you for your call,

to tell me about your problems.

Sorry, I was eating lunch an hour ago.

I’ll be sure not to do it again.

Please let me know how I can assist.

The louder the better,

as you noted i am hard of hearing.

Be sure to use logic,

as I am easily confused by emotions.

As you so eloquently mentioned.

Please speak slower,

I just can’t keep up.

Use smaller words,

those are easier to look up in the dictionary.

I am sorry for the inconvenience.

My head is too far up in the clouds.

Yes, I understand perfectly.

Still, I appreciate the repetition.

I’ll escalate this accordingly.

Too someone of the stronger gender.

I hope you have a great week,

and that I have not ruined it for you.

Speak to you again,

when you call to follow up in five minutes.



Author’s Note:

Avoid working in call centers if you can. Or anywhere you would need to answer general inbound calls. It’s soul-sucking, soul-draining, and just a general bad time.

Do I sound salty? I feel salty